AE 510: A Chat About Pregnancy in Australia with Kel & Pete
G’day, guys. Welcome to this episode of Aussie English. Today, I have a special episode for you where I sit down with my wife Kel and we talk about the first trimester of her pregnancy, what we thought it was going to be like compared to what it actually has been like up to now.
Anyway, before we get into that, I want to let you know that today’s episode is brought to you by the Native English course. Now, you may remember when I interviewed Justin on the podcast a few months ago, he has released a native English course and it is about learning real spoke in English.
So, this is aimed more at intermediate students who are aiming to push from intermediate to advanced. So, if you are interested in learning the tricks and tips for speaking English more like a native speaker, things like culturally-focussed speaking, tips on spoken contractions and pronunciation, and different kinds of subject matter for small talk, all that kind of stuff, this is an amazing course. It’s very affordable and you will save 15 percent with the coupon ‘AUSSIE‘ if you go to lingova.com. That is LINGOVA.com.
Anyway, let’s get into today’s video, guys.
Today’s episode is brought to you by the NATIVE ENGLISH course:
Save 15% with the coupon:
Trying to use this little selfie stick again, I remembered how good it was. Anyway, we’re about to go out and get some muffins and coffee and Kel had an idea, Kel had a pretty nifty little idea. What are you doing, Kelly? Why are you hiding? Come here ‘cause I don’t want to show you guys the room, it’s a bit dirty.
So, tell us about your idea, you wanted to do the pregnancy diary.
You wanted to do a little pregnancy diary where you can talk about it, you know, and this might not be helpful for many men out there listening,
but hopefully it gives you some good vocab and as well some a learning experience for those of you who are thinking about getting pregnant in the future
Yeah, and I think people want to see our little bump.
Little bump? What’s this Kel? Show us the bump. Is it a little?
It’s huge. Look at that. Yeah, I reckon mine’s bigger. Look at that much bigger. My baby’s way further along than yours.
You’re so competitive
Alright, so we’re going to go to Barwon Heads and get some muffins. Don’t look at the room. Don’t look at the room.
As always, we’re in front of the house walking to the car. But this time Kelly’s here. We’re not go to the gym, not today. So, where are we going Kel, Kel?
To the coffee shop. Coffee shop, coffee shop. There is an amazing place in Barwon Heads, called Starfish, right? And It is…hold on, just let me get in the car. Get in Kel!
Yes, so It’s called Starfish, it’s really good, mum found it and it has amazing muffins and even better croissants with pumpkin. Oh my god this is so good!
I love it, I just can’t handle it.
Can’t handle it today, huh? A bit pregnant, preggers, up the duff. A little bit ‘nojenta’ (nauseous).
What does this mean?
Pregnant but in a very sort of…Like cows get “prenha”.
Okay. Okay. Alright.
We’re off to Barwon Heads. We’re off to Barwon Heads. So, how you feeling today? You’ve been a bit nauseous recently. Tell us about your experience being pregnant. How’s it been? Has it been fun?
No, it’s not fun. I mean…It is nice when you realize that you have a baby in you and you think about it and you buy things, but daily sort of… the struggle is real.
The struggle is real. Like I wake up feeling sick every day. It goes on for the rest of the day, pretty much. If I’m hungry, I feel even worse, but then because I’m so nauseous, I don’t feel like eating anything and
even my favourite things like cheese or pasta like I just don’t feel like having any food
That’s the weird thing, I think because you love those foods and you were eating them like an animal before you got pregnant, but now, you just like…do you think like is it what’s putting you off them? Is it the idea of what they taste like, the smell of them? The textures, is there some specific aspect or you just don’t feel like eating that food now?
I know some women get really sick like with smells and textures, I’ve been reading about it, but for me personally, it’s just I don’t feel hungry. I feel…well, I know I have to eat and I kind of get like okay. I really like cheese or whatever, but then when I’m there looking at it it’s just like, I don’t want it. It’s just like the pizza we got the other day I had like two pieces and I was just like…
What did you order? You ordered a pizza and it was like half peri-peri Mexican or some spicy thing and then half…What was the other half?
Was chorizo or something.
Chorizo like a margarita with a bit of sausage on it or something and you ate that but then you were like this other one looks gross and I’m not eating it.
And I love chicken, that’s my favourite thing.
It would have never happened in the past.
Not at all, I would have started with this one because I like it so much
I don’t know, that’s the most weird thing that’s happening. The rest is just fine. Like I know I’m not putting putting on a lot of weight yet so, it’s fine. Not vomiting a lot. I feel really sick, but I don’t vomit.
You only vomited once. Yeah exactly. What happened then when you vomited the first time?
I think we were in the car, right? Normally without being pregnant I get
Motion sickness. Yeah, you don’t do very well in cars at least when you’re not…when you weren’t pregnant, it would be like if we were driving around, really bad corners, like if you go down the Great Ocean Road, it tends to be pretty horrible.
Yeah, So, if you’re going down the Great Ocean Road it tends to be… that’s when I would get motion sick if we were going down fast and you’re constantly like…
But for me it’s so bad, I can’t even use my phone in the car.
We were coming back from your grandparents’ place in Melbourne, yeah, which is about a two hour drive I just couldn’t handle it anymore and I just puked.
We were so close!
We were one turn, one turn away from our house and dad was driving and Kel’s like give me the bag!
And we’re like literally a minute away from getting home and you puked in the car. Yeah in front of my dad.
And then he was turning the fan on.
Aircon up. Aircon up. It’s all good, it’s not easy. I can’t imagine, you know, the hormone changes and feeling nauseous all the time. That would, that would get to me. I think that was frustrating.
Yeah at the end of the day you’re just so tired of feeling so sick. Yeah, and I don’t know if all the women experienced the same but I have every day when it’s kind of like getting dark around like six seven I get quite
unsettled like I’m just uncomfortable. I don’t know if it has something to do with the hormones or if it’s just because I’m tired of feeling so sick.
But I just get really like I can’t do anything like I don’t if…in bed, I’m uncomfortable, if I get up to do something else, I’m uncomfortable.
Yeah, you’d be finding it really hard to get to sleep, right? Recently and it’s not the stereotype is that it’s morning sickness which is what I assumed before you got pregnant like oh, yeah, you’ll be, you know, sick in the morning and then the rest of the day you’ll be fine, but it’s more like all-day sickness.
All day sickness and I find it really hard to sleep.
And which week did this begin at?
Probably…Yeah, this was six weeks, I mean I’m 8 now, but six weeks that’s when it hit me.
yeah, and fortunately though it’s only meant to last for five to six weeks.
Usually yes, usually yes, that’s what everyone’s telling me.
Most women have been saying don’t worry after twelve weeks you’ll feel fine again and you’ll feel like superwoman!
Right now, it’s really hard for me to imagine I’ll feel so great, like…
but then we watched the…I don’t know if it’s a documentary, but more or less a documentary on birth, childbirth yesterday and the girl that was on there, the Indian one, was like I felt nauseous every day for eight months. So, I can’t imagine that feeling of being sick for eight months and then you know, it must feel pretty good once you’ve finished
Must be very good after you finish. Yeah, and you’re like oh, I don’t feel nauseous anymore.
But everyone is telling us that you know after those first weeks. Something, you know, happens and you just have great, even your mom saying that you feel like you can do anything.
So, I’m really looking forward to feeling like that because right now is just really bad. So, how do you think it’s changed your life? Your day-to-day routine at the moment if you weren’t pregnant?
What would you be doing that you currently can’t do?
I would probably be having a lot of soft cheese
No, but honestly. It’s hard because I know there is something happening, happening inside me, but you don’t feel much different like physically speaking. Yeah, you know, you feel sick and you feel you know, moody or something happens and you just remember oh, yeah, I’m pregnant, but you look at yourself in the mirror and you just like I’m the same and you don’t realize how much you’re going to change, your personality and stuff. So, it’s not… I’m still digesting the whole thing.
Like hey, I’m pregnant, but I do think…I haven’t eaten for the whole day, for example and I know like I would definitely go to bed without having anything, but I’m like, you know, I have to eat.
I think that’s one of the most difficult things, right? Is that you’re constantly don’t… you’re constantly not feeling like food at the moment but you know that you need to eat because of the baby and to give it nutrition and what it needs.
So, yesterday you you were like barbecuing stuff. I didn’t want to have anything, but I know I don’t usually have meat because well, we’ve been eating meat a lot in the last three weeks but I just don’t feel like having anything, but I was like I have to, I have to have some substantial. That’s probably… that’s the main…
it’s the weirdest thing with Kel having to force her to eat food usually you’re pretty good with food and you’re pretty like…
Apart from that, you just, you know, I keep thinking, buying things like I go out and not see the baby stuff and I want to buy it’s just you get used to, I’m getting used to understanding, I guess. Yeah have a baby that’s going to be born in like seven months.
Has it hit you yet? Do you think? I mean you keep asking me like, do you feel like a dad yet? Or like it’s going to happen is it has it hit you, Pete and to be honest it hasn’t because obviously the only, the only thing that I noticed is that you’re feeling a bit sick, right? That’s the only change for me and it’s an external thing for me. I don’t have this internal change in hormones and feelings and emotion and everything like that that you’re going through, but has it properly hit you yet that you will have this parasite, baby crying and keeping you awake and, you know, eventually leading leading you to be an amazing parent in seven months from now.
Not really, maybe I’m just not conscious about it. Like if I wasn’t pregnant I would be like let’s travel, let’s do, you know, other things but it’s really fine for me to be like I can’t do that, I can’t just, you know, decide I can’t just go away and do other things because very soon I’ll be, I’ll have a baby and I have to take care of him or her, but I think it’s a very subtle change.
You’ll get used to it
And I’m sure when I have a big belly and the baby’s moving I’ll feel more like a parent, but now…At the same time, I’m reading a lot of a lot of things about parenting so I’m trying to get, you know…
Up your skills
Yeah, because that scares me more than the pregnancy I think being a parent and educating someone kind of scares me.
We are almost here I just have to do a U-ey and park behind this car.
How’s it going? Can I grab a large cappuccino? Takeaway and what about you, Kel?
A small hot chocolate and I might grab… What do you reckon? One of these muffins, Kel? I might grab the dark choc berry one for me, please man.
So good. Is it good? These muffins rule. Look at that chocolate! Tasty? And the cappuccino looking forward to this.
All right now we’re off to the beach we’ll see if we can find somewhere nice to sit down and continue this chat. Yeah, I’m all coffeed out. Oh, too much coffee today, I think.
Oh, like ten. I’m probably… I had to have one decaf as well. So, there you go, three or two and a half, two and a half. Anyway, we’re in Bowen heads and we’re goinig to head down to this…There’s a little pier. Hopefully, there’s no one on it. Guess we’ll see.
So, how’s it been? What did you expect before getting pregnant, Kel? What were the expectations before you got done? Before you got up the duff?
I don’t know, I didn’t really have any sort of expectations. I thought, I really thought the whole thing about I’m so sick it was an overreaction little bit, but I can see it’s not. There are things that not many people talk about like because they’re embarrassing and you know, you know just feel like Is it actually happening? Like I feel bloated all the time. Sometimes like today I woke up was like Am I showing I have such a big bump! Am I showing or am I bloated? It wasn’t a baby, it was something else.
You go to the toilet and then you get up and you’re like damn it!
You burp a lot, like I’m always…
And she never burps, I burp all the time I must be incredibly pregnant.
It I hate it. It’s just horrible.
You don’t like burping or you don’t like being pregnant?
You’re a bit gassy.
I am, anyway. You are, anyway, but I’m not used to it.
And you have to pee every like 30 minutes to an hour.
That’s what make me more anxious out of everything.
You have to always think where’s the toilet? Where’s the toilet?
I wake up four, like three or four times at night and it’s quite cold here so wake up, it’s cold.
It’s not really cold. It’s just she thinks it’s cold
It is cold and you have to go to the bathroom and you know that the time I go back to bed I’m already like I need to pee again. So, I thought about getting, don’t know what you call it in English, Brazilians will know ‘penico’. Just leave the ‘penico’…
Some kind of small bucket or receptacle or something that you can pee in and that’s near your bed that they would have used before toilets. People use pans. I think you would call it. They use them in the hospital.
Wee can get one of those for you if you want, you got your bucket.
No, the bucket is for vomit.
We need to get a mattress that we can put a hole in and then just hold it over the toilet and you can just sleep on the mattress right there, right? and the toilets right underneath you.
Like I had to get new bras because the ones I had were quite uncomfortable.
That shocked me how quickly your breasts got bigger straight after getting pregnant I thought oh…
Yeah, It was like, we found out one day the next day. I was like, boom!
I always thought that it was like, you know, towards the end that the breasts get bigger. They get filled with milk or whatever that the baby needs and that happens later on in pregnancy, but obviously the hormones kick in and there’s some sort of you know changes occurring in your breasts. But I was just like yeah, I didn’t expect that. But I like it.
I like it, to be honest, that’s a good part of pregnancy. Forgive me, forgive me.
He was like, can you just press pause?
But I’m only eight weeks so I don’t know how big…
There’s no upper limit
I think those are the most, you know, annoying things mmm, it’s really it’s really nice. I don’t know, if you think about it and you imagine you have to educate this person and try your best and love and I was really scared of not being able to love.
Yeah, what were you nervous about it? What were you scared about it? Cause you had quite a lot of preconceptions before getting pregnant that you were sort of like am I going to be a good mum?
Yeah. Well the good mum thing. It’s always in my mind. Like am… I am I able to do a good job? and there’s no recipe, right? You just, you try your best.
You have to wing it. Yeah suck it and see.
Yeah, but what I am doing is I’m reading as much as I can about parenting and trying to get…Trying to understand what’s the best for with regards to education and stuff but with the love issue because you’re single and that’s the amount of love I’m capable of giving.
I get the limit at the moment. I get everything.
You get everything and it’s an easy because everyone’s like your baby’s born and you…There’s no way you can love someone more than you love your baby and that scares me because how vulnerable is that? Like this little person can literally destroy my life if something happens. I’ll be like that’s my whole heart going away with this little kid, but at the same time it’s amazing to think that you are able to love someone like that and you can do anything.
Well, that’s what I kept saying to you the whole time. You kept saying how am I ever going to love someone as much as I see everyone loving their children? And I said, I think it’s one It’s naturally going to occur and two
I think it’s the kind of thing that’s going to develop as you get through your pregnancy. You have this thing inside you that you’re developing a bond with and then when it’s born it’s just going to…
With your niece, for example. Yeah, I really love her. Like I spent time with her. She’s the cutest baby ever and I feel connected and I’m like
How can I think I will not love my baby?
That’s what I said
I’m like you already like my niece so much to imagine what you’re gonna feel for your own child. So, that was a big thing that you were worried about to begin with I think.
But yeah, it’s much better now, but it was before getting pregnant. I was like scared of you know, not being able to care and to love but you know nature, nature works fine, and you just do it.
Exactly. And so, what about parenting, you’ve been learning a lot about that recently. What are the do’s and don’ts that you think you sort of come across?
That’s hard because there’s no, as I said, there’s no recipe, right?
There’s no right answer.
You don’t… you shouldn’t expect – oh, I will apply those rules and tips and my baby will be the best child, you know, on Earth. Every child is different.
Yes. It’s a difficult thing though because there are definitely answers that are better than other answers, right? and options that are better than other options, but there’s no definitive guide to do this four times a day, you know, and you’ll have a good kid.
And that’s the difficult part for me – I want to do the best I can but I know my own limitations. And I also know that you can only control so much when you have the child. They they’re going to have their own personality that’s sort of irrespective of what you set up or do before that?
Yeah, and I’m really into the whole like peaceful parenting stuff because that’s a very different way like from my experience. I wasn’t raised with…
And I really think it works. Like I really think that’s…that’s the, you know, the best advice you can get
Do you want to talk about what is peaceful parenting exactly?
So, peaceful parents is all about not…understanding, first of all, understanding your child and respecting their personality, like you wouldn’t force your friend or your partner to do something they don’t want to do because it hurts and it feels horrible, so the whole respect towards children, that’s what I like and it’s all about avoiding punishment. It’s not that you’re not going to teach them, you know, boundaries limit and exactly but you do it in a different way because every time they misbehave. It’s a chance for you to teach them something as opposed to it’s a chance for you to punish them.
I think it’s a lot more based around conversations and discussions why they can’t have something, why they can’t do something, why something they did was wrong as opposed to go to your room because I said so or you can’t do this because I don’t want you to, I think from my point of view that wouldn’t work on me now so why would it work on a kid, right?
Like if someone tells you you can’t have this and you’d be like well, I feel like I can so why can’t I and the person just says because I said so you’d be like well, that doesn’t really you know sit well with me you need to tell me more so I think you need to sort of treat kids like that as well. Like they’re more like adults. Explain to them why you’re deciding certain things.
You also need to understand the the child’s brain is not developed. Yeah, so you can’t expect them to be mature and you know, responsive when you know, you lose your temper sometimes and you know, it’s hard I struggle with, you know, understanding my emotions sometimes and I get quite overwhelmed from you know, every now and then but imagine a child. It’s just really hard for them to understand what’s happening. Like they don’t, they don’t know any better. They’re just children.
Yeah, and but I think that’s the important part. They are not going to learn without you.
And you need to accept that you can’t expect more. When… even though you want your child to be the most well-behaved child in the room. You can’t expect them to be more mature then that they actually are for their age, you know? And I really like that because I see, I mean, not being judgemental here, but I see a lot of people and I used to do the same with my sister or my you know, the kids I was working with in Townsville, you can’t you get so frustrated. Sometimes you want them to do something and you forget like, if they are misbehaving, it’s probably because they are they are after something else. Is it attention? Are they hungry? like there’s always something
And with the documentaries we’ve been watching quite often the kids that misbehave the most so the ones who don’t have a connection with their parents and they’re just looking for some kind of you know, I guess response or some kind of attention from their parents and that’s why they act out or they act up
And something that I it really resonates with me is, at least in Brazil, I think and again I’m speaking from my own experience. The whole thing with my family was like, oh don’t do that the child will be spoiled. You’re hugging too much, you’re doing too much attention. It’s just for me that doesn’t make any sense because I can’t imagine how scary the world is. You’re like a little child the only thing you know, that is safe it’s your, it’s your mom and your dad and you don’t give them attention, you let them cry for hours without going there.
There’s limits, right? You have to be not overbearing. You can’t do overbearing mother that protects them from everything. You have to… you have to let them expose themselves to the world and risk being hurt or in danger, but at the same time be there for them
You need to be there all the time and you need to be as, you know, affectionate and caring and there’s no limit for that. That’s one thing that if you get if you want to get something from like peaceful parenting and stuff just be there and give as much love as you can like, there’s no limit, you’re feel free to give as much love as you can because that’s that’s what makes them safe and they connect with you and they trust you and that’s their world like that you are the only thing they have when they’re little at least. It’s been good to learn about it.
That’s where we’re at currently. So, who knows if that’s what it’ll actually be like later on during the pregnancy or when the baby is actually born, but the sun’s getting in my eyes. Maybe we should, we should finish up there, guys. Hope you enjoyed it, but yeah Kel thought this would be a fun idea to sort of sit down and do a pregnancy diary kind of thing where we can chat about what’s happening with Kel and what we’re planning and and things were learning and stuff just to talk about different things in English. So, hopefully you enjoy it all the things in the next video some things yeah, let’s do it. Anyway. Thanks for joining us, guys! Chat soon!
Good job, guys. Well, I hope you enjoyed that episode today. If you guys planning on having a child Down Under, or maybe you’re currently in the process of having a child, or maybe you’ve already had one, I hope that episode was helpful and gave you lots of vocabulary and expressions, things that you can use when talking about these topics. That’s the whole point. That’s why I like sharing this kind of information, even though it’s a bit of my private life and Kel’s private life, I feel like it’s helpful for you guys, so I hope you liked it.
Just remember too, guys, that today’s episode was brought to you by the Native English course. Go to lingova.com that is LINGOVA.com and sign up with the coupon ‘AUSSIE‘ to save 15 percent and get your English from intermediate to advanced if you are an intermediate English learner.
Anyway, thanks for joining me today, guys, and I’ll chat to you soon. Peace out.